A little over a week ago, my knee dislocated as I was walking to school. Since that time, I have been overwhelmed with feelings of frustration, self-pity, saddness, worry, concern... rehab and recovery were not in my plans for how the next 6 weeks of my life are supposed to go. 
I have so much to do - completing school work for the semester, starting a new job, taking an unforgettable trip to Korea, and then in a whirlwind, coming back to start summer classes. It is easy for me to question "why did this have to happen, why me, why now" etc - but I've tried to keep myself away from those thoughts. I have found myself forced to slow down. In this fast-paced life, with all the things we need to do, all the different things demanding out attention - I am allowed opportunities to rest, to allow others to do things for me and watch out for me, and to be more aware of how I need to take better care of myself. Honestly, it is hard, not to mourn all that I can not do - at least for right now. .. but I am grateful to have people in my life that love me and check up on me and show me that it isn't the end of the world. ;)
In this time, I have had more time to sit and read and reflect - and am just reminded how much we need it- as "man does not live on bread alone" - how I have been starving for the Word in ways I didn't even realize.
And I find myself getting through each day, facing treatment options and figuring out how to adjust my well thought-out plans, and I am reminded that God gives me grace for this moment.
In my readings, "The Practice of the Presence of God" - conversations and letters from Brother Lawrence - he talks about grace - saying " that the worst that could happen to him was to lose that sense of God which he had enjoyed so long; but that the goodness of God assured him he would not forsake him utterly, and that He would give him strength to bear whatever evil He permitted to happen to him; and therefore that he feared nothing." God meets us where we are at, and with His Spirit at work in us, He will allow us to not only make it through any situation, but also perform in ways that many testify as beyond their own abilities. With God, all things are possible.
Brother Lawrence goes on to say, " he had so often experienced the ready succors of divine grace upon all occasions, that from the same experience, when he had business to do, he did not think of it beforehand, but when it was time to do it, he found in God, as in a clear mirror, all that was fit for him to do. " What incredible trust - not to worry, not to fear. And yet, these are simple truths laid out for us in the Bible. Jesus exhorts us in Matthew 6, several times, saying "do not worry" but to seek Him. Jesus also tells his disciples in Matthew 10, " do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." 1 John tells us that "God is Love" and that "there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear"
There are many things to worry about - and fear. For me - I consider my knee and am flooded with worry and fear. We could also worry about finances, about grades, about what the future holds, about what to say to people... the list could go on and on. But I choose to walk in grace and trust in God who, in all things "works for the Good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
God never fails at offering us His grace at each action. Jesus tells us "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me."
Trust Him. That He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do.
He is worthy of our Trust.
I have so much to do - completing school work for the semester, starting a new job, taking an unforgettable trip to Korea, and then in a whirlwind, coming back to start summer classes. It is easy for me to question "why did this have to happen, why me, why now" etc - but I've tried to keep myself away from those thoughts. I have found myself forced to slow down. In this fast-paced life, with all the things we need to do, all the different things demanding out attention - I am allowed opportunities to rest, to allow others to do things for me and watch out for me, and to be more aware of how I need to take better care of myself. Honestly, it is hard, not to mourn all that I can not do - at least for right now. .. but I am grateful to have people in my life that love me and check up on me and show me that it isn't the end of the world. ;)In this time, I have had more time to sit and read and reflect - and am just reminded how much we need it- as "man does not live on bread alone" - how I have been starving for the Word in ways I didn't even realize.
And I find myself getting through each day, facing treatment options and figuring out how to adjust my well thought-out plans, and I am reminded that God gives me grace for this moment.In my readings, "The Practice of the Presence of God" - conversations and letters from Brother Lawrence - he talks about grace - saying " that the worst that could happen to him was to lose that sense of God which he had enjoyed so long; but that the goodness of God assured him he would not forsake him utterly, and that He would give him strength to bear whatever evil He permitted to happen to him; and therefore that he feared nothing." God meets us where we are at, and with His Spirit at work in us, He will allow us to not only make it through any situation, but also perform in ways that many testify as beyond their own abilities. With God, all things are possible.
Brother Lawrence goes on to say, " he had so often experienced the ready succors of divine grace upon all occasions, that from the same experience, when he had business to do, he did not think of it beforehand, but when it was time to do it, he found in God, as in a clear mirror, all that was fit for him to do. " What incredible trust - not to worry, not to fear. And yet, these are simple truths laid out for us in the Bible. Jesus exhorts us in Matthew 6, several times, saying "do not worry" but to seek Him. Jesus also tells his disciples in Matthew 10, " do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." 1 John tells us that "God is Love" and that "there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear"
There are many things to worry about - and fear. For me - I consider my knee and am flooded with worry and fear. We could also worry about finances, about grades, about what the future holds, about what to say to people... the list could go on and on. But I choose to walk in grace and trust in God who, in all things "works for the Good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
God never fails at offering us His grace at each action. Jesus tells us "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me."
Trust Him. That He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do.
He is worthy of our Trust.
