Life lessons from nursing

For some time.. I have thought about what I would write to summarize my experience as a new nurse in the Critical Care Unit. From relatives and friends, and good meaning well-wishers, I am often asked "how is your job" or "do you like your job" - and while the expected response is "yes" - I am most often honest, and say that is it not without difficulty.

New nurses are known for idealism, coming to the profession to help others with altruistic motives... while seasoned nurses are stereotypically jaded with real life struggles, hardship, and ethical dilemmas that cause them to see differently. This is not without reason, as the life and tasks of a nurse are almost always under appreciated and less than glamorous.

Over the past several months, I have seen and cared for individuals, families, and friends of patients that all have their own story. I am well aware that at any time - my own family members or friends could be laying in one of the beds in our unit - instead of the strangers that occupy them. Most often, the patients were unaware or in denial of any disease or illness that landed them in such a position - and now we walk with them through their days in the unit to either improve their health and restore their quality of life.. more make them a DNR - do not resuscitate - which is supposed to mean that we will still treat the illness but if the heart stops beating or lungs stop breathing, we will not take any heroic measures to preserve life. There are a lot of patients that we make DNR. And there are a lot of patients that pass away. Some - who are in their 90s, having lived a long life - leave their family in peace. Others - who had been shopping the day before - leave their family in shock. And others - who struggle with disease but hold onto life - live with such reduced quality of life, are attached to machines to survive, cry out in pain or psychosis, and ultimately leave their family to make hard decisions for them. It is tough, I'm not going to lie about that. I often feel unprepared for the situations I face - not in the medications I need to administer or the assessments that need to be preformed, but unprepared for the stories I encounter and the lives that I enter in as their nurse for my 12 hour shift.
In the midst of wrestling with life and death issues, I have been reading a book, Chasing Daylight, by Erwin Raphael McManus, that has further challenged me as I think on these things and how to deal with them as a Christian. In speaking about our life, McManus writes that “the journey requires absolute certainty in the goodness of God, while at the same time we relinquish our demand to know the details.” It would be easy for me to get caught up in the pain and suffering that I see – and to ask God why does this happen? But McManus reminds me that “to move with God is not to find the way of escape from the hardships of life” – rather to know that He is with me in the midst of them. Making an example of Daniel, McManus exhorts, “we must remember that if we're thrown into the lion's den and we get eaten, God is still faithful.” Furthermore, that “God will be honored because you have done what is right. If you're thrown to the lions, of course you hope you'll be there in the morning to celebrate. But if not, you will be in the presence of God, and you will have provided a small kindness to a few hungry lions.” Yes, that made me smile as well. This idea – that we can trust God to be who He says He is and that He has a greater purpose in calling us to do what is right regardless of the outcome for us – is not a new one. In Daniel 3:16-18, Shadrack, Meshack, and Abed-Nego said, "O Nebuchadnezar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it and he will rescue us from your hand, o King. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold image you have set up."
The bottom line. Bad things happen. To both good and bad people. And God is still faithful. And God is still good. And He has a greater plan and greater purpose. And He is still good.
There are rewarding times at work - holding a patient’s hand and having her look up at you with gratitude and renewed sense of dignity, sharing a hug, being thanked, knowing that when I am leaving – I made a difference in that person’s life for the brief time I was in it – and they made a difference in mine as well. To know that I am walking with people in their most vulnerable of moments - and I have the privilege of praying for them and treating them as I would my own family.
As McManus so eloquently stats, I realize that “we have no control over many things.. No control over when we die or how we die. We must instead take responsibility for what we do have control over - how we choose to live.” And to live a life of faith – it begins with faithfulness. “Being faithful is taking responsibility for the good we know to do. It is about treating even the small tasks before us as important and worth our best effort.”
So. How is your job? Tough. Real. Good.
Do you like your job? Most days, yes. not always. But I am privileged and honored to have it.